It’s a Thursday in April 2023.
I sit down to start my shift and I have a friend, she is sitting on one side, and a stranger on my other side. The layout of our office are desks that are in pods of 3. I have seen this guy next to me once or twice in passing and so assumed he must work on a different team to me that overlaps with some of my team’s shifts.
Throughout the shift there is small talk with him due to the close proximity between us and multiple times me and my friend are in conversation and he will randomly chime in. Some would say that’s how you make friends and socialise at work, but something is really off. It’s hard to describe but it’s like he’s been eavesdropping the whole day just waiting for a chance to butt into our conversation. It’s feels weird, and I’m a really approachable friendly person that’s always open to chats but this is really (really) odd.
Over the course of the day he’s telling me about his commute to work (1 straight bus home in the opposite direction as me) and we are comparing pictures of our home balcony views. I’m engaging politely but not too over friendly as I still have off signals in the back of my head. It is now nearly halfway through the shift and that’s when it starts..
He says, “hey have a look at this online report”. So I lean over a little to try and read the small text. It is something about a lady reporting that her partner got her pregnant and gave her an STI and she wants to report him because of a dispute over what to do as she has just found out he’s been cheating too. I blow out and say how angry she must be at him, to which my colleague covers his mouth with his hand and says “she sounds like a slut”.
What? Did I just hear that. Did I just see him cover his mouth too? Like he knows you can’t say that. I am in shock, halfway in the middle of my own work too with supervisors watching our screen time, so I turn back to my screen and continue. Surely that didn’t just happen? I have this awful feeling in my tummy now. Oh gosh I hope he doesn’t speak to me again or maybe if I face my body towards my other colleague he will get the message that that was not okay. I know there are reports of misogynistic staff, but how naive was I to think that I would never experience working along side one. But I don’t have time to properly digest and think what to do because 999 calls are queuing and people need help.
Some time passes, maybe an hour or two and I’m finishing an emergency call. “Police will aim to be with you within 15 minutes or less. Call us back if anything escalates” I say for what feels the millionth time today. I feel him nudge me and he says, “can I be unkind?” I am still mentally in the call I just took and slightly frazzled when he says “I have just taken a call from an immigrant” and shows me his phone screen which is displaying the notes app and I watch him type out and it reads: “why don’t you fuck off back to your own country”. I am so taken aback I say “did they say they don’t like England? I think people who migrated here should be given a talk on what services provide what and are properly signposted so they know where to get support”. I say this to try and deter from what he is saying and I don’t want to cause friction with having to sit for 7 more hours with this colleague. But he can already tell I’m shocked and annoyed and he says “okay maybe I’m being harsh” and continues with his work and we don’t talk for some time..
What the hell am I supposed to do. I have 6 hours left of my shift. This guy has said the worst things and I don’t even really know how to report this. I mean do I email his manager, do I go to the duty officer? What if they make me and him hash it out right there and then and he says I’m lying. I have no proof. No recording. Nothing. But I can’t not do anything and surely now he seems to know I am not ok with what he’s saying maybe he will move seats or at least not talk to me again. Or apologise, surely?
They say everything comes in threes because now I am in the middle of yet another 999 call and I have my maps up on my screen with the South West part of London displaying. Areas such as Brixton, Clapham, Lambeth, Vauxhall, Wandsworth are all showing and I’m in the middle of trying to get up to date locations of a suspect on the run to update officers. I suddenly feel a presence close to me from behind and hear, “Ooh Sarah Everad’s turf”. No. No. No. Why on earth is he whispering this in my ear. We haven’t spoken about that case today, we haven’t spoken about anything related to it in anyway. What the actual f**k. When is this shift over.
Everything comes in threes? Well this evening, there was a bonus. I finally finish the worst shift of my life and that wasn’t even due to the nature of my job. I have no time to report the day because I need to race home to fit in some sleep before I am back here in less than 12 hours and I need to get out and properly think of what to do. We both finish at 23:00 and I consciously wait at my desk for 10 minutes extra before I go to my locker so I don’t bump into him at the front door.
But no, he’s still at the bus stop right across the street. Thank the lord it’s the opposite one to me and I can just keep my head down, not lock eye contact and get on my bus (which is pulling up now) and escape. Just as the bus pulls up he shouts across the road, “When is your bus due?” I shout back “It’s here” and get on the bus. Now I hear a bang on the side of the bus and it’s him, shouting to hold the bus. Please I can’t take this. He gets on the bus and sits himself next to me. I ask him why are you on this bus this doesn’t go your way home and he explains to me that he’ll be taking my route tonight. Right. So instead of 1 direct bus to your home, you are going to get on my bus to an underground station to take a tube and another bus home. I can’t describe it, but it almost felt like he wanted something. By the time we were on the first tube I jumped off at a stop that I could go another way home from and he remained on the tube. I double check he didn’t get off too and at last, I’m free of him.
I’m home. I’m crying and I’m also setting my alarm to return back to my work place in less than 7 hours for another 12 hour shift. I don’t want to return. I now just feel gross and disgusted that this happened inside a building that’s supposed to be full of good people protecting others. But it’s not, and I have to return, because I need to say something.
fyi - the blog title ‘Not In My Met’ refers to the launch of an internal communications campaign by The Metropolitan Police, to reinforce the role that everyone in the MPS has to challenge and act on inappropriate behaviour and concerns.
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